I’m sitting here in the MCL lab listening to some music with my mind wondering on what my purpose MIGHT be… What could I possibly be here for? All the broken hearts and disappointments I’ve faced throughout my years already; why would I go further in this life? I’ve searched for a purpose many days and haven’t been successful in finding that clarification yet. Oh Lord, I wonder where these overwhelming feelings of emotions flow from. Humility reaches my throat and a knot forms so intensely that I am forced to think of funny moments that I’ve encountered lately. As I am sitting here grateful for ‘those’ times I find myself at ease again. Glancing at some ladies walking in, I realize that we all are dealing with something inside whether we wear it on our face or not. How could I possibly feel alone I tell myself? Well, it’s easy when your best friend in the whole world lives 7 hours away and can’t possibly hug you at that instant; that’ll make you feel instantly solitaire.
I suppose that I will SNAP out of this pity party that I am in and PRESS on… Jesus, please take the pain, the hurt, the aches, the confusion, the selfishness and turn it into SOMETHING GREATER than my imagination. Father, only YOU can and will provide me a peace that passes ALL of my understanding. I lay it down, lay it down…. AT YOUR feet! Thank you in advance for blessing me BEYOND any expectation that I could EVER know. You are divine and precious to this humbled heart.
“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
ReplyDeleteIt's only one season in life... the next one is on it's way! :) As you press on, spend your time seeking Him in EVERYTHING... sometimes it's hard to do but when you're looking for Him, you find Him! :) I love you... I know it's been a long time but if you ever need anything let me know! :)
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ReplyDeleteI have these moments when I think that there aren't any more chances that you and I can be any more alike than we already are. And then I read your blog... and realize we must be twins! I feel the exact same way you do. I wonder how a God so great and merciful and wonderful could love a sinner like me. I cry about it. I'm ashamed that I hurt him and have allowed this world and the people in it to hurt me. And yet, Jesus still counts me as His own. And I just shake my head because it's too mysterious for me to understand.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, you are not alone - as long as God is in heaven, your Savior keeps His arms wrapped around you, and your BFF is praying for you every second you'll never be alone. And that I can promise for sure.
I love you and can't wait to walk the beach and talk about our Jesus and our faith!